Always try new restaurants....at least twice...maybe

I'm all about trying out new and different restaurants or stores at least twice.  The first time isn't always the impression that should linger in your data banks....Give it another try, at a different time, or day...

That being said, today we had some errands to do,  We thought since we were out anyway we could go to lunch at the new Mediterranean Restaurant that's opened in Ballston Spa.  Now here's where it gets tricky. Ballston Spa is a village.  A village in Northern New York (not "upstate" like Westchester County in the Catskill Mountains....no...we are in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains...you know Adirondack Chairs, bears, snow, cold weather, sort of rednecks....That Northern New York...closer to Montreal than New York City...Got it?).  We go for Pizza, wings, dough boys, and nachos (not because we're ethnically diverse...we just like grease).

Why these folks that run the new restaurant think it will make it here is beyond me.   I love Mediterranean foods but most of my friends look at it as though it's too foreign (like they USED to with Nachos by the way).  We're always looking for things that are new and different so we went there.

We should have known been on the ball as soon as we walked in...There was not a soul in the place. No one in the kitchen, no one in the bathrooms, no one at the counters...Nada...not one living soul ( unless you count the bee and the fly that was buzzing around).   I went through the kitchen to an open outside door...I have to tell you I was a bit apprehensive to go meandering through the door, but I'm brave I poked my head outside and saw three folks sitting at a plastic table drinking something...coffee? tea? Scotch? who knew?  I said, "Hello...? Is anyone working?  Are you open?" They all jumped up in startled amazement by my intrusion into their sun worshiping.  

Full of apologies they showed us to tables and gave us the menu.  The food listing was interesting, if not sparse.  Clearly the owners were trying to convert the masses (?) who came in to a Mediterranean diet with no possible chance of any other food choices....But what the heck, it all looked pretty good to me...Not so to the unadventurous one of this pairing....Larry looked lost...I interpreted the menu for him and he made a good choice of chicken kebabs (how wrong can you go with that?).  I decided on Calamari Salad.  I love calamari and if anyone can cook it right it's the folks who live  on the Mediterranean Sea.

The waiter was probably an out of work actor left over from the Saturday Night Fever movie...You know the type....tall slender, coiffed hair  with enough hair gel to use his head as a weapon of mass destruction. He had on Khaki's, a long sleeved deep purple shirt, black dress shoes...Honest, I kept thinking he was going to start singing Bee Gee's songs.  He took our order, sort of, turned to go to the kitchen, returned to our table to ask us again what we wanted. (OK it's a new place, he's probably never been a waiter before we'll give him the benefit of the doubt...this time).  He returns again with my water, Larry's soda...(wrong kind by the way).

It's hotter than Hell in this place so the owner (?), certainly not John Travolta's stunt double, opens up the door...There are flies...there are bees...there are little tiny flies...not pretty.  Another couple comes in and I'm hard pressed to continue to sit in my chair...I want to get up and tell them, "Run, run...go away while you have the chance".  But no, I sit there and mind my own business.  Another woman comes in to pick up an order for her office.    The stunt double gives her the bill.  It's over $50.00.  She looks at the bill. I'm watching her as I can see the machinations of her brain working overtime....She isn't expecting the bill to be this high. I didn't expect the bill to be that high. I was watching as they were gathering all the take-out stuff.  Poor woman, she gets out her phone to call the office and says (remember, I'm within ear shot) "What the F*** did you guys order?  It's over $50..." Her face is now bright red.  She hands stunt double her plastic.  Stunt double rings up the amount in the cash register, hands the customer the receipt to sign.  She looks at the receipt and says, "The bill was $52.00, this receipt says $520.00.  That's not right" (thank God she looked at it before she signed). Now stunt double is freaking out....I can see the rivulets of  sweat pouring down his face. Enter "THE OWNER", the one who so wisely opened the door to let all flying things into the restaurant...

Larry who is practically stone deaf can't hear any of the discussion but he knows things are escalating because he sees me squirming in my seat... He knows me well enough to understand I'm internally laughing so hard my guts are pushing my bladder...

I'm sitting very close to all this action. I'm trying not to laugh.  I'm afraid to get up to go to the bathroom that I so desperately need. The customer is standing by the register, stunt double and "The Owner" and all huddled together.  The owner grabs the check, shakes his head, looks at the stunt double and says, "What? you stupid? You charged for dinner menu, it's lunch you dope".  Stunt double says, "So confusing, the menu...The food is the same, lunch, dinner...just the prices are different. So confusing".  I'm nearly making a puddle now. I can't hold it much longer...I literally jump from my seat, making one step from my table into the ladies room.  In there I can still hear the discussion of stunt double and THE OWNER, and I know all the other patrons are well aware of the conversation as well.

The owner straightens out the customer's bill....giving her some free dessert items (good move on his part) and she leaves...Now our food is on it's way...
The food is really good, no kidding but the entertainment is superb.  It's OK that this place is supposed to be a restaurant only....if you keep your eyes closed it's sort of like a Seinfeld episode with the Soup Nazi.

By the way, our bill was also wrong...but all is good... It was corrected.  Are we going to give it another try? I will, because it was one of the best laughing lunches I've had in years. Larry? I don't think he's as brave as I am...

Another Day at the Office

This is day number two at the office that's usually peaceful, quiet, and generally a pleasure to work in.  However, as I said yesterday, the world is filled with crazy people, no longer are people rational, pleasant or courteous.  As a matter of fact, I think the word "courteous" has been removed from the dictionary.  It's probably been replaced by words like miserable, rotten, creepy, horrible and bitchy.

Today was slow. People came in and paid bills, bought insurance, asked about claims info.  They were all pretty nice.  I started to wonder if I had gone into a new dimension when I left for work this morning, because for sure I wasn't in the same place as yesterday.  I should have known it wouldn't last.

Customer 1:  Where's the agent?
Me: well the owner agent is not available but everyone in this office is an agent, how may we help you?
Customer: How long have YOU been here?
Me: This week?  about 24 hours but with the company 28 years. I work in all the agencies covering for folks who are out
Customer: So that means you're like a Kelly Girl?
Me: Ha ha, well perhaps a Kelly Girl with licences, certifications, and instructor licences...I usually call myself a "licence for hire"...ha ha.  Now what can I help you with today. 
Customer: How do I know that you won't get my information and sell it to another source?..... (who? Geico? AFLAC?)
Me:  I work for this company only and have done so since the eighties.
Customer: Prove it...
Me:  Well, I can show you all my licenses, and the certifications I carry, as well as my Notary Public license. 
Customer: let me see
Me: Here they all are
Customer: Well I guess I can talk to you
Me: sure I'll try to help as best I can
Customer: What do you mean you'll "try" to help? Does that mean you don't know how to do the job?
Me: considering I don't know what you need I have to assume that I will know what you need but there is a possibility that I will have to get additional information to complete your request
Customer: Well, I want to know that if I ask YOU the question I'll be able to get the answer I want.
Me: Well, I can't guarantee that, however I'm sure we'll be able to come to some mutual agreement of some kind.
Customer: I don't like you. I'm leaving
Me: Have a nice day......

Customer 2: Who are you?
Me: I'm Suz.  What can I help you with today?
Customer: I don't know you
Me: Probably not, but I'm here once in a while when people are out. I help in the agencies
Customer: Do you know your stuff?
Me: Depends on what you're alluding to
Customer: Oh shit, you're one of those college broads
Me: Yep, that would be me
Customer: Well I pay your salary, so don't you forget that..
Me: Technically you're probably correct
Customer: You bet your sweet bippy I'm correct.... 
Me: I there something I can help you with
Customer: I need to pay a bill. The bill that probably pays your salary
Me: I wish it did.
Customer: so where's my receipt?
Me: Who are you and what are you paying?
Customer: Don't get snippy with me? ...(Trust me he doesn't know "snippy" yet)
Me: I need your last name so I can get into your policy and transmit the payment.
Customer: Well, the other people don't need me to tell them who I am
Me: Well Sir, I don't know who you are, I'm not here all the time so I haven't learned all 2700 customers names....(now we are starting to get to the "snippy" from me [part)
Customer: Oh, there's that many here?
Me: Probably more than that
Customer: OK I'll play your way....  (WTF...am I now a freaking mind reader)
Me: That would be helpful.

Customer 3:    Telephone rings......Hello, I have insurance with you.
Me: how can I help
Customer: I want to know why my insurance is cancelled
Me: Can you give me your last name and I'll check your policies to see what's going on?
Customer: Can't you tell by my phone number?
Me: The number that comes up seems to be a business.  Is this a business account
Customer: No, my own personal account
Me: Is you name **** LLC?
Customer: No, that's who I work for
Me: What is your name Ma'am?
Customer: whispering.....Sally ***.
Me: and you  live at 12 ****?
Customer: still whispering....How did you know that?
Me: Your address is part of your policy
Customer: Who is this?
Me: My name is Suz
Customer: Who the Hell are you?
Me: (go through all the hoopla again)
Customer:  Oh yeah I remember you from before
Me: I thought your name was familiar
Customer: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: Nothing I just remember talking to you in the past
Customer: Because I was a bitch?
Me: Gees, I don't remember that at all.  You were very nice (my brain is now going through all the saved data to try to remember something about this lady at the same time I'm in her account reading notes from 3  [three!!] years ago....I find something)  I remember you called about your son and his grades and you wanted to know how to get credit for him for being a good student..(thank you God for the notes I put in and remembering some things)
Customer:  Oh yeah....and he is still doing wonderfully...He graduated and is now in Med school. I'm so proud of him 
Me: you should be....
Customer: Well, great talking to you
Me:  Wait...you called me about your cancellation.
Customer: I remembered, I forgot to pay the bill.....Bye
Me: grrrrrrrr  CLICK

and it's only 2:42 

I'm imaginative, but even I couldn't make this stuff up!

So... today was a work day for me....I don't work everyday, but I do cover different places when they need someone to help out in emergencies, or for some training.  It's good for me and for them, so I continue to do it (when and if I want to).

I worked in an office that's very familiar to me, so I thought, no problem....a few hours...a few dollars...what's the rub?  Well...

I think the world is coming to an end and all that's left is crazy people...(I may be classifying myself in that category, but I like to think of myself is an observer only).

Call number one:
 Customer: Hi, my name is *****. I have policies with you folks and I was wondering if it would be cheaper if my room mates had insurance with you as well.  I thought we could all take advantage of multi-car discounts and the like........
Me: Maybe if would, but first I'd have to know some information about your room mates
Customer: OK...well, I live with the father of my two kids and his wife.
Me: Come again?
Customer:  I live with the Father of my kids and his wife...I'm away a lot on business so they watch all the kids when I'm not here...

Me:  OK...are you all going to be listed on the policies?
Customer: OMG no. His wife is a drunk, and has lost her license.  She's also on parole for arson.
Me: Is this a joke?
   ( and no it wasn't a joke)

Call number 2:
 Hello, my name is *****. I just need to know if you can give me insurance on my birds?
Me: No, I'm sorry, we don't insure animals.
Customer: What!?! that smacks of discrimination...You people will be hearing from my lawyers...
  (hmmm....OK)   CLICK!!

Call number 3:
 Customer: I need to buy insurance for flood
Me: Ok we'll need some information
Customer: no problem ask away
Me: We will need to know where the house is located, the community, and the map designation to determine the cost of the insurance.
Customer: What? Why do you need all that?  I"m just insuring it for about three days. There's a flood warning and I want to make sure I'm covered.
Me: I'm so sorry sir.  Flood Insurance is regulated by FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Authority) and there is always a waiting period  before the policy is effective, if we could write the policy, which unfortunately, since you are in imminent peril we can't even quote you at present.
Customer: Jesus H Christ, why bother with you insurance people...you always find loopholes for us honest citizens....you're all a bunch of leeches.....
Me: Well, sir...I'm sorry we can't help you, have a nice day.  CLICK!!

Call number 4:
Customer: My dog bit my cat.  The cat was running down the hall and the dog chased after the cat and bit the cat on the rear end.  The cat needs to go to the vet.  Can I give them my policy number and your telephone number so they can put the claim in for the damage the dog did to the cat?
Me: No.
Customer: What d'ya mean, no??? I've paid for this &*^%  home owners insurance for over 10 years and I've never put in a claim...Now when I need to you say "no".
Me: I'm sorry, but your dog biting your cat is not a covered loss.  A loss would have to be something like fire, lightning, trees crashing through the roof, electrical damage, and airplane crashing into the house, collapse...that sort of thing. There would be no coverage for your animals biting each other...or for that matter if your animals bit you or any other person who lives with you..
Customer: So....there's no coverage for my cat?
Me: No, I'm sorry
Customer: Well the cat will have to be put down then. I hope you can sleep tonight knowing you caused a cat to be killed.
Me: I'm so sorry.   CLICK!!

So that's been my day....how about you?

Tragedy-- depression

When tragedy strikes all manner of personalities are in evidence in a matter of nano-seconds. Immediately we are inundated with tirades, rants and unnecessary lectures about how things should or shouldn’t have been done.  To that I say, “Nuts!” Unless you’re walking in the shoes of the person you have no idea what is going through their mind at any given time.  

In the case of Robin Williams, he did seek out treatment at different times of his life but he didn’t get the help he needed at the correct time.   It may be that he would never have gotten the correct help.  None of us can sit in judgment of a person who is in the throes of mental illness. We can’t imagine what they are thinking or how they are thinking.  We say things like, “How could a person so; wealthy, healthy, beautiful, handsome or any other thing we think is the epitome of success, do something so selfish”.   Who are we to demand to know why someone does something to themselves?  Are we entitled to know everything about another human being? Do we have the right to foist our own morality, judgment, or actions on another person?

It is sad we’ve lost a great talent.  But that’s what we’ve lost, a talent.   His family lost his love, body, soul, and his heart.  We will recover, but I wonder how they will fare… 

Statistically there is a 50% chance that one or all of his kids will take a suicide route.  I hope they’re all diligent in seeking help from qualified therapists if and when they need it.  I’m sure they will be seeking help now if they need it, or someone else thinks they need it.  

I’ve had my share of depression and unless you have been treated for clinical depression you can’t really know what it’s like.  We see all the advertisements on TV about the drugs available to treat depression. We also see other ads that tell us we may have to add more drugs to the ones we’re already taking to combat the depression.  Well, that’s fine for some people but we, in the country are far too quick to seek out a pill to help us “get over the hump” or whatever we may think we need.   I ask this, “do you think the folks who are searching for food to continue their existence are looking for a pill to make them happy?”   I don’t think so.  Ergo…we have too much time on our hands. Too much time wasted on silly unnecessary things; a new electronic device, clothes, shoes, make-up, cars.  We are causing some of our own mental illness, or at least we’re contributing to it. 

Depression is a slippery slope and once you’re on the downhill slope it’s kind of hard to stop.  The answer is to stem it as soon as you know you’re about to enter into the “dark side”.  Most folks who have been in the despairs of depression can pretty much tell when they’re about to enter into the shadows of their lives.  They try to ignore the signs, but shortly they realize they are walking a path which will only take them into the darkest depths of the recesses of their minds.   It’s not easy to find the sun and warmth.  There’s a part of you that feels comfortable in the dark and you don’t want to feel the pull of the sun, you like the feeling of the familiar comfort of the blanket of darkness covering you.  When you are in the sun, other folks are pulling and prodding you to do something or be someone you don’t want to be.   It’s sometimes easier to stay in that dark cocoon and just wait.  However, it’s a trap.

Those of us who have battled the depression “monster” know when we’re in trouble if, and it’s a big IF, we are seeing clearly.  There seems to be a feeling from others who’ve not been to “depression land” that we can “snap” out of it, look on the bright side, fake it until you make it, smile, etc.  That’s not good therapy.  We don’t have the ability to walk out of the dark easily.  There’s always something that has grabbed us and brought us back into the arms of the darkness.   Only we know how to get ourselves back into the light.  Only we know what we have to do to turn the corner and find a way to walk toward the light.

Here lies another problem.  Sometimes the light we seek is not of this world.  Sometimes the light is from another world, a world where we may fit better than here.  Don’t think that’s a cop out. It’s the truth.  If we are in so much pain with no relief in sight (and if you’re sitting there thinking, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” you have no idea what depression is or how you, yourself would handle it, so keep on reading) the only answer may be suicide…

I’m not advocating suicide, but pain comes in all sorts of forms.  I’ll bet Robin Williams had his share of both physical and mental pain.  He tried, for years, to self- medicate.  He had the ability to get the best medical treatments.  He wasn’t being selfish or taking an easy way out.  He just wanted “out”.  Are we right to deny him his choice?

People! Mind your manners

I haven't written in quite a number of months, mainly because I've been in an "observation" mode lately.  It's fun to watch the actions of other human beings from afar. 

The one thing that seems universal is the lack of manners/etiquette.  The past few months I've seen more than the usual lack of manners, sort of like an escalation of rudeness to others, especially in crowded situations. If there's a group of people, you're bound to see rude behavior.  I don't remember people being so nasty in past decades.  I started to wonder why there was this increase in bad behavior.  I've come up with some reasons, not scientific mind you, just probable cause.

1. The crowd mentality: You get a bunch of people at a "free" function and they get super greedy.  The more people, the greedier they all get. It's like a shark feeding frenzy.  A table may be laden with "noshes" and in one giant pod of life forces they glom to that table and like locusts devour every last smidgen and crumb.  There are arms, shoulders and legs moving in the direction of the food stuffs.  Never mind that it may be something they wouldn't eat any other time, it's free so they want it. 

2. The entitled: They are the folks who dragged themselves to an event. It wasn't what they wanted to do, but someone told them they should go.  They feel it is their duty to honor the "little people" with their presence.  When entering the event, others will observe the haughtiness of their stance.  People can see the entitled one is there due to a command performance.  It's almost like seeing a Monarch attend  nursery school celebrations.  They don't want to be there but it's for the "little people".  It's pretty entertaining to watch the supposed entitled ones try to keep themselves from being contaminated by the masses, certainly the entitled feels these others are distasteful at the least. Their behavior sparks resentment with the others. There is tension in the air.

3.The parents: Pushing their kids ahead in the lines...ever so gently.  The parents are behind the kids with their knees edging the kids forward.  The bunch of living, breathing folks ahead of the kids move a tiny bit forward reducing the "personal space' between them and those in front.  The pushed kids get restless, if not a bit squashed and there starts the whining.  The parents start to get frustrated hearing the distressed sounds emanating from their young and that's the beginning of anger.  The kids want out, the parents want out and the folks in front and behind want out.   The tension mounts and someone cracks...then all Hell breaks out. All because the parents were not patient and tried to grab more personal space from someone else.  It happens continually.

4. Lack of preparation:  This I blame on the event coordinators.  They set up these events, send out all the press releases about the event, advertising this is a free event, then don't anticipate how many will attend.  They don't have enough food, drinks, chairs, or anything else needed to make the masses happy.  The even starts and it's a free for all.  This is not good event planning. 

Those are a few of many problems that I see happening all the time.  There shouldn't be any excuse for bad behavior, but when you haven't been taught to be respectful of others, what can you expect?  Most of the time they have been taught, but opt to "forget" their manners in response to their immediate wants and desires. 

Ahh....maybe I'm just getting old......

God's Waiting Room-another part

Well... here we are down in God's waiting room, however we're in a different part of the state and it seems to be a couple of steps farther down the ladder from the West coast.  The West coast is just waiting for the gates to open so they can all file in.  The middle of the state seems to have a bit more life in it.  The reason is probably because of the proximity to "The Mouse". 

We still have a feeling that everything is manufactured to be like somewhere else though.  As though no one can come up with anything new or creative.  For example: all the houses around here look alike.  I'm sure the colors of the houses around here came from some guy who thought "pastel" was the only way to go down here. 

The current place we are in is prime example of the lack of diversity in color.  You will see cream, pink, yellow and throw-up salmon, that's it....Everything is stucco (I get that....less bugs to contend with) and has goofy outside lights...all exactly the same. They even break the same way at the same time...(synchronized breakage?)

Of course there's a Homeowners Association here.  Every place has a HOA.  I'm not sure if it's to help or restrain the inmates...whoops, I mean residents.  The rules are strict and I'm sure there's a torture chamber somewhere on the property for those who break (or try to break) the rules. 

This place is gated, walled and guarded 24/7.  Again, I'm not sure if it's to keep us in or to keep the outsiders out.  I know one thing, it seems to give the residents a sense of ....exclusiveness? perhaps.  I think it's to keep "them" from coming in. 
Each lovely home has it's own little pool, complete with the cage around it.  It's sort of like being in the Zoo and we're the attractions.  I'm not so sure I like that...but then again?

The good thing about being here in the middle of "The Heart of Florida" is we've met some cool folks to hang out with. They're younger than we are, but we won't hold that against them...We find we have similar views and that's unusual for us.  Usually down here we're in the minority.  Although, it could be because they're Canadian and we seem to get along with them more than with our own countrymen at times.  It's not that we dislike our "ain" folk, but we seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum with many of them, both politically and socially.  We like to be inclusive and we find that many don't want to include those who are "different"/

It's pretty much "white bread" around here and that's odd as well.  I like diversity and different points of view.  But then I'm a bit different too...

The traffic is pretty much the same as on the coast.  They're all terrible drivers and none of them know where they're going...

C'est la vie....

Snow Birds flocking to the warmth

So...here we are again in God's waiting room. This year however, we are in the middle of the state. I decided to shoot a dart at the map of Florida and see where it would land. Yep, right in the middle, or the "heart" as they are wont to say here , of Florida.  We've landed not too far from the Mouse, but have no intention of meandering over to Mouse Heaven....We might go to a show or something while we're here but not too many.

People here are different than the ones we encounter on either coast.  My ex-Florida buddy tells me I'm in the middle of "Redneck Heaven".  She's quite correct.  We see all sorts of "country" footsteps around here, from the Western garb stores to the gin mills touting their entertainment of country/western/down-home featured artists (?..that's debatable).

I see the huge billboards as I drive yelling at me to "See Jesus", "Be saved by the Lord", "Man is short lived, but with Jesus, life everlasting". I wonder how much they (whoever "they" might be) is paying for these billboards that seem to levitate from the ground as I go on my merry way?

On the back windows of trucks, I see all sorts of scripture statements explaining how life should be lived and never varied.  Yesterday I saw one window expressing love for all mankind, then on the bumper a rainbow peace symbol with a red slash across it.  I thought that was rather telling of the person behind the wheel...However, I could be prejudging...I don't think so though.

I see the gun racks on the back of the pick-up window, but I don't see the guns...That's odd to me...but then there's probably a law against riding around with a gun showing in your window....If there isn't a law about that, then there should be one.

I hear, "God bless" at every turn, and that's nice....but I wonder, is that the "nasty nice" talk I know so many folks in this area commonly indulge in?  If had folks say to me, "Now, aren't you the sweetest thang".  I  know what that really means...I was told by a longtime Texan when you hear that being said think, "Now, what a pain in the ass she is".  It's almost interchangeable.  It could be...

The driving over here is not better than on the coast. I thought, since the demographics over here show the area to be younger, then driving would be better, not so.  I think it's worse here....Everyone in this general area is from "somewhere else" and they all have the "wild eyed, crazed look" as they drive along.  For some reason they've forgotten all the rules of the road they knew when they were, "home".  You better be on you  best defensive driving mode down here or you'll die in a fiery crash...or be maimed by by someone who's just realized they missed their turn and now you're in their way...No problem though, they'll just squeeze you over and get in the lane where you were. Crazy.

It's interesting if you look at all the differences as a study in modern humanity...Although, if you do that, you may want to check out of this world and find another....

This age is tough....

We're at the age where picking up the newspaper is mandatory.  We need to see who's died... Also, we want to make sure our own names aren't in the Obit column....

We're not at home at the moment and we find ourselves in a quandary of  "what to do, what to do?".  We know the answer will unfold if we leave it alone, but the thrashing has started in our minds.  It's a tough age....

We have family and friends in all stages of life and death.  We are unable to get to them, and truth be told if we were at home, I'm not sure we'd be doing anything different than we are here in God's waiting room. It just makes us feel a bit helpless and that's where the problem lies.

All of life's adventures seem to be based in control over something or someone else.  We do things to give us a new perspective on our own lives, but we control all the activities to mold them into something we can handle. The problem is, life likes to throw in some punches we've not anticipated and we feel a bit violated.  We didn't anticipate this "punch of life" we were going along at our own pace and were thrown into a wall. We now have to step back, take stock on the wall, go around, cut through, something, we didn't want to do in  the first place.  It's a vicious bite to our neat and orderly existence. 

Doing the best we can doesn't cut it.   Someone will be hurt.  We don't want to hurt anyone, but the sad truth is if you push someone, they will have to react in some way or another. 

Someone is dying, we won't be able to attend to hold hands, hug, give strength.  It will be bad, for us and for them.  They need assistance, in the form of money, but it seems so heartless and somehow, cruel.  I will send a check for the family because they will need the money for daily expenses until they get on their feet.  Nothing will ever be the same for them but we can make things a bit easier for them and maybe that's what we're meant to do...I don't know.  

We don't send flowers anymore because it's a waste of money that the family needs at the time of the death.  Sure, the flowers are nice, but they don't put food on the table, or pay the mortgage.  It's a practical decision in my mind.  BUT I always fear that the recipient will think we're buying our way out of guilt....(which we are really).

Oh well, I guess I'll let things unfold as it comes.....