Monday, February 10, 2014

Snow Birds flocking to the warmth

So...here we are again in God's waiting room. This year however, we are in the middle of the state. I decided to shoot a dart at the map of Florida and see where it would land. Yep, right in the middle, or the "heart" as they are wont to say here , of Florida.  We've landed not too far from the Mouse, but have no intention of meandering over to Mouse Heaven....We might go to a show or something while we're here but not too many.

People here are different than the ones we encounter on either coast.  My ex-Florida buddy tells me I'm in the middle of "Redneck Heaven".  She's quite correct.  We see all sorts of "country" footsteps around here, from the Western garb stores to the gin mills touting their entertainment of country/western/down-home featured artists (?..that's debatable).

I see the huge billboards as I drive yelling at me to "See Jesus", "Be saved by the Lord", "Man is short lived, but with Jesus, life everlasting". I wonder how much they (whoever "they" might be) is paying for these billboards that seem to levitate from the ground as I go on my merry way?

On the back windows of trucks, I see all sorts of scripture statements explaining how life should be lived and never varied.  Yesterday I saw one window expressing love for all mankind, then on the bumper a rainbow peace symbol with a red slash across it.  I thought that was rather telling of the person behind the wheel...However, I could be prejudging...I don't think so though.

I see the gun racks on the back of the pick-up window, but I don't see the guns...That's odd to me...but then there's probably a law against riding around with a gun showing in your window....If there isn't a law about that, then there should be one.

I hear, "God bless" at every turn, and that's nice....but I wonder, is that the "nasty nice" talk I know so many folks in this area commonly indulge in?  If had folks say to me, "Now, aren't you the sweetest thang".  I  know what that really means...I was told by a longtime Texan when you hear that being said think, "Now, what a pain in the ass she is".  It's almost interchangeable.  It could be...

The driving over here is not better than on the coast. I thought, since the demographics over here show the area to be younger, then driving would be better, not so.  I think it's worse here....Everyone in this general area is from "somewhere else" and they all have the "wild eyed, crazed look" as they drive along.  For some reason they've forgotten all the rules of the road they knew when they were, "home".  You better be on you  best defensive driving mode down here or you'll die in a fiery crash...or be maimed by by someone who's just realized they missed their turn and now you're in their way...No problem though, they'll just squeeze you over and get in the lane where you were. Crazy.

It's interesting if you look at all the differences as a study in modern humanity...Although, if you do that, you may want to check out of this world and find another....

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