I souldn't go out alone

I can see the headlines now:

60 year old woman charged with indecent exposure

let me 'splain. Larry and I went out to Stewart's for his morning walk and to get the papers. I decided to continue on a walk listening to one of the tapes a friend sent me. I went to the bank then continued down Hutchins Dr a to walk back home via the Crest. It's about a 4 mile hike over all. Honest to God as soon as I start to walk more than my usual amount my bladder decides it's full and starts to protest...painfully and loudly.

So here I am on Hutchins Rd by the woods and I think....I'll just nip into the woods a do a quick pee....(how hard is that? people have been doing that since time started for God's sake). I forget that I'm not as spry as I once was so I climb over this bank, over trees, through mud and muck to an area that I think is secluded, tripping and nearly falling at every step. I go to pull down my pants and I hear in the far off distance, a sound. Now mind you I have my pants pulled down and my bare ass is stuck out in back as I'm trying to balance while doing the deed without splashing all over the place....This is not as easy task for women....Men have it easier, just whip it out and hose down the area.

The sound is getting closer, I'm not stopping the flow, it keeps coming and coming as the sound gets closer. I envision everything, including someone with a gun, camera or a group of reporters coming towards me. Still the stream flows from my body. Finally I stop and attempt to pull my pants up and I turn around, there just barely behind me is a deer looking at me like I'm totally nuts.. I wasn't sure if I should move or what. We stared at each other and the deer finally took off running. Honestly I shouldn't be allowed to go out by myself....