Snake Oil and Charms

If you're alive, a woman, and of a certain age you've been to a craft fair....The ones that are supposed to be the best are the ones advertised as, "Juried" shows. Down here in "God's Waiting Room" (Gulf Coast of Florida) there are tons of these shows. Most of them are the same vendors going from city to city with their little tents and canopies selling their wares to the same people that have seen the same ^%$# before at the other fairs they've gone to down here...But...sometimes you get a bit surprised, that happened today.

The town we stay in was blown off the face of the Earth several years ago with Hurricane Charlie. You can still see signs of damage and the place isn't back to normal yet. The damage was extensive and they lost many of the tourist trap places that brought folks to the area each winter. Consequently, they try all sorts of things to promote the City. There are art shows, wine tastings, evening walk abouts, Arts and culture events (not much art and the culture? well I'm sure they're trying.....). This is the second year they've sponsored a "juried" arts and crafts fair.

Everything here starts in the morning. I guess the old folks like to go and get home before lunch so they can eat, take their naps, have some cocktails, eat dinner, go to bed, then do the same thing again the next day...that is if they haven't gotten killed in a car wreck in the meantime....

I decided to see what this thing was all about. I went alone, because Larry would rather watch paint dry than walk around looking at crafty things. The weather down here has been windy and cold, I knew the place would be quiet. It was. I was the only "live" shopper at the time I arrived. Oh, there were other people there, but I'm not sure they were really "alive".

There were the usual things to see, but there were some very different things as well. A pleasant surprise. I was approached by a woman who dragged me to her booth to look at her wares. She was selling, selling hard mind you, some kind of lotions she guaranteed I would look 20 years younger if I used them...hmmm...snake oil??hmmm...

I let her go through her speech and watched as she smoothed on this lotion stuff on the back on one hand. She spoke to me the whole time she massaged my hand. After about 5 minuted I looked at my hand and it was devoid of all wrinkles and spots....The other hand looked like my grandmother's hand...What could I do? I had to buy the stuff so both my hands looked as thought they came on the same person.....I spent $25.00 on this stuff and ran like Hell away from her before she could get me into her spell again.....

I ran from "snake oil lady" directly into "gadget man". This guy had me mesmerized in 10 seconds flat....He was pushing some kind of grater-scraper thing and a bunch of other "must have" gadgets. Luckily he wasn't as persuasive as "snake oil lady" I only bought one thing from him.....

By that time I was lighter by about $60. and figured I had to make a bee line to my car before I started to turn out my pockets and give them lint....One last person got hold of me and sold me a tee shirt, that said "Group Therapy" it had pictures of my favorite cocktails on the front and a tiny little Martini glass on the back..How could I walk away from that?

All the stuff is in my suitcase...Larry will never know...