How Does this Happen?

We live in upstate New York State. Upstate New York State does not mean, Westchester County, which we refer to as "downstate". We are in the Northern regions where folks have Winter Olympics and speed skating. We are in the Adirondack Mountain range and quite happy about that, usually.

In the winter months we can get as much snow as we like, sometimes more than we like, although not as much as our neighbors to the west, Syracuse, Rochester and the lovely city of Buffalo. They get far more than we do, but sometimes our temperatures are colder than theirs so it's a trade off.

In February, when we know the probability of getting really bad weather is upon us, we bail. We decided several years ago we would take off for parts south and get away from the weather. This year is no exception.

I (ok...it was my decision) decided this year we needed to go somewhere different from past years. I wanted to see a "different" Florida. I didn't want to be in another Condo, townhouse or duplex in some ultra suburb of some large megalopolis down here.

I searched the Internet and found a real estate management company that specialized in "the true Florida experience". I spoke to the folks there, felt a warm fuzzy feeling when conversing with them and decided to give them a try. They sent over photos of some of the rental units. We (now I say we" because I don't want to take all the blame for this now) decided on a manufactured home in St. James City, Pine Island, Florida.

The trailer is on a canal...almost IN the canal. We are very close to our neighbors, nice folks albeit a bit older (but Hell, we're older too). The setting is gorgeous. Out the back door we have a patio over looking the davits, dock and fish cleaning tables (oh, did I tell you this is a mega fishing area?). There are some strange looking cacti (plural for cactuses...) and some dead trees. I think the trees once bore fruit, but God knows what kind....

The trailer is...vintage...old...decripit....generally yucky.....It's gotta be circa 1960, and that is not an exaggeration...We were told it had been rehabbed...perhaps in the latter part of the 20th century but I can guarantee it hasn't had anything done to it in the 21st century.

The whole place is paneled...a walnut sort of wood, kind of. The "accent" colors are harvest gold (yep, appliances and all) and this throw-up orangie color. The bathroom (there are two so I better explain them) that I use is...well...scary is a good term, I guess.

I feel as though I'm in Japan. I'm afraid to sit on the toilet for fear the whole thing will end up on the ground under the trailer...The floor is bit soft and squishy...no kidding. Consequently, I sort of hover over the top of the bowl and pee astride the bowl. The shower and tub are original and it sort of reminds me of the movie Psycho when I get into it....There are shower doors and they're the same kind we had in our house 25 years ago. As a matter of fact, lots of the stuff in here reminds me of the 60's ans 70's when I was, shall we say "tripping".(I exaggerate a bit but you get my drift).

The kitchen is something out of a bad Brady Bunch episode, double ovens (one doesn't work, the other sets off the smoke detector when I turn it on) , built in stove (one burner makes ungodly noises when turned on...needless to say I don't turn it on), small but adequate refrigerator, tiny sink (no dishwasher) and all this Harvest Gold loveliness is surrounded by a counter island/dining area situated between the living room and the kitchen.

The living room has an addition...Thank God. Although, the tenants that used this place before had a cat perhaps two, (or twelve). The house reeks of cat pee, not all the time, only those times when the humidity hits high...Did I mention we are situated between two canals and the sides of the trailer have perpetual mold??? It's tough to get away from the humidity....

Oh, and by the way, I'm allergic to cats. We're having cleaners come in next week to see what can be done ab out this...not on MY dime I might add.......

Well, I said I wanted to experience Florida in a different way....this is certainly different...I'll say that much...

This is NOT man-bashing...honest....

Answer me this: Are all men stubborn, or is it just the one that comes with me?

We've done some remodeling in our cellar/family room. We added a bathroom, a laundry room and made a delineated area for my art stuff and Larry's wood working shop. It looks great. We have a great contractor who puts up with my whining and complaining when I tell him what I want done. I know better than to think that we, Larry and I, could possibly do the work which needs to be done to get a room looking like a room.

Many years ago we did some remodeling by ourselves and it nearly ended in divorce court. Since that time, we know to hire outside help. Yes, I know it's more costly, but when you consider the cost for lawyers and courts, it's the less costly way to go about the remodeling.

This time we decided to add the bathroom 10 days before a party. For some unknown reason we felt everything would be done in plenty of time to hold the party in the family room with the new bathroom at the ready for all the guests.

Believe it or not, the contractor finished the last of the remodel at 12:00pm the day of the party. We went downstairs immediately to clean, clear and set up for that evenings festivities. We did a great job too, together. We had so much to do there was no time to bicker, sneer or complain to each other. The party came off pretty well. Just one time I had to brush off my friends tush to get the sheet rock dust removed. Not bad, considering the way it looked when we started the cleaning.

However, when the remodel was completed we realized the walls of the existing family room looked bad, I mean really bad. We're talking 1960's maple paneling...(I know...it's coming back in style...but honest, there is no way this stuff will ever be on the H&G network as a "new and improved" look for your house....It's said that "everything old is new again" but that phrase wouldn't cut it for this paneling....My gosh, when we bought it, it was $3.49 a sheet [that's 4' X 8' sheets we're talking...] ). Anyway, the paneling needed work, of some kind. The best thing would've been to remove it and do something different on the wall, but Larry thought better of that idea.

Up we went to our neighborhood big box home improvement place. We were looking for something called, "coverall". It's a kind of wallpaper made to be painted, or not. It covers a mass of sins on existing walls, paneling being one of those sins.

We found some and bought it. This would be a "GREAT" project stated Larry. (I think he'd had a couple of beers before we went to the store. He was in a very "project" minded mood. It was either the beers, or it was the fact he was so excited about the bathroom in his "man-cave" that he morphed into some alien being....I'm still not sure).

So the party was over, a success I might add, but we had two more parties that week. I thought the wallpaper project would be done after all the parties...How dumb am I? No, Larry (or the new alien being I'm living with...still to be determined...) decides he's going to "just try a strip or two".

Larry is not the one who does wall covering in the house as a general rule, that's my bailiwick. Larry decided to go ahead and do it while I was getting ready for party number two.

Anyone who has had experience doing wall covering knows there are certain instructions that cannot be skipped. Oh, you can try to skip them, but it will take more time in the long run and the process will be so bad you'll be looking for a bunch of baby ducks to peck you to death. However, what do I know? I had to leave the family room because I started to kibitz and started to see the fire coming out of his ears.....I knew my retreat from the family room should be post haste.


After quite a while he came up and said, "something is wrong.....". I looked up from the umpteenth crystal glass I was polishing and said, "Why, whatever do you mean???" He looked at me and said, in all sincerity, "I think I should have done more prep work before hanging the paper". "Oh, reeeeally?" said I.

I followed him downstairs to the family room. We opened the door, directly opposite from the doorway where we were standing was the wall covering rolling down the wall, falling into a puddle on the rug....I just turned around and went back up the stairs, as Larry uttered, "Thanks for all your help...". ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

To be continued...

Just one of those days....

I sure most people can relate to this.

I'm a person who likes to make lists of things I have to get done in a certain time. I don't leave things up in the air, because I know full well if it isn't written down by my own hand, not typed on the computer, it's not going to gain any priority in my brain. As a matter of fact, it won't take up any space in my brain what so ever...This is a true fact, from years of experience.

Armed with my list this morning, I promptly started to complete some of the tasks listed for Sunday, November 21. Since the Thanksgiving feast will be at my house, I have this big honking turkey in my refrigerator in some stage, I hope, of defrosting. I know from past experience it's better to turn over the turkey at intervals. With that thought it mind, I opened the refrigerator door, pushed up the shelf that was resting on the top of the turkey, and proceeded to pull the big beast off the shelf. With a tug and a heave ho, the beast came out of the fridge and promptly fell on my big toe, the one that has had some pretty bad hits of late...

At the same time as I was trying to remove the turkey, things that were apparently wedged behind the behemoth decided to explode open. Not too bad a problem really, I had some containers of oatmeal on the bottom shelf (why oatmeal in the refrigerator, you ask? Don't ask).

The oatmeal had a mind of it's own and sprayed, literally, all over the bottom of the fridge, into the seal of the freezer (my freezer in on the bottom-the most common sense place for refrigerator freezers in my opinion), and all over the floor in front of the fridge. The turkey, still on my foot, had a sprinkling of oatmeal on top.

The oatmeal somehow managed to get into the two veggies bins and when I opened the bins, I noticed they were in dire need of wiping down. Veggies make a mess sometimes and this was one of those time.

I looked down at my turkey covered toes and noticed blood, not turkey blood either. My blood was pooling next to the toe that took the direct hit. At that time, I realized maybe the list thing I had on the table should be revised. I probably should have added, "Make time to take a trip to the hospital", but of course that wasn't on the list.

Larry wandered into the kitchen after hearing some strange, strangled, suffering sounds. He took one look at the turkey, toe, shelf, bins and burst out laughing. This was probably NOT the best thing for him to do, but honestly if I was faced with the same scene I'm not sure I'd be able to do anything else either. I gave him a pass on that reaction.

Everything eventually was cleaned, including the blood off the toe, and I crumpled up the list and went to bed...To Hell with the list...

It's that time of year again....ho hum...

Yep, here it is, another November screaming out from all the calendars. Usually the months change on the calendar without much fanfare, that is until you get to November. November is one of those months when you're either going to get euphoric because you can't wait until all the hoopla gets into full swing OR you're going to turn the calendar page over, look at the name of the month and turn to the kitchen to find a sharp knife to cut out your gizzard. Tearing out the gizzard MUST be better than what's in store for all of us these next two months.

I've gotten numb to the stores pushing the Winter holidays down my throat in August. I figure they need to get as much money as they can, as early as they can for a couple of reasons: Someone has to pay for the crap the merchandiser and buyers have bought, and they need to keep the employees doing something, because for sure, the employees are not killing themselves to help out customers . How many times have you walked into a store and IF you see an employee, they're either on a phone or walking quickly in the opposite direction from you. The employers understand that and to get something for the salary they're paying, they make the employees continually stock shelves.

November is that time of year when people start to think about the upcoming feast day....Thanksgiving. Now, I'm not going to blast the holiday by moaning about the excesses we all do on that day, nor am I going to get all pious and religious about why we should be thankful at this time in our lives. I am going to talk about how the holiday seems to start a frenzy of thoughts about the Christmas season. By the time the feast day arrives we all seem to have forgotten about that day, in anticipation for the frenzied thoughts of the upcoming days. It's like wham, bam, thank you ma'am and on to the next. Not breathing, no collecting $200 fir passing go, just slurp down the food, burp, and on to the next. What is it with us collectively? Are we just gluttons? Do we forget what these holidays are for? This is nuts.

I guess we have.....I'm going to continue this another day....I'm getting crazy.....

Having Company? Rip apart something just before they arrive....

If this didn't happen almost every time we have company I wouldn't wonder about it, but it does. If we are expecting folks to visit, for dinner or dessert, whatever, if seems like a switch turns to the "on" position for husband to do some radical "rehab" work.

This weekend we're having some folks over for dinner. During the next week we're having a friend stay with us for a couple of days. What does he decide to do? He decides to find out why there's a mildew smell in our bathroom we can't seem to locate.

In the last week we've pulled apart the baseboards, the fan, the cabinets, changed all the fixtures in the bathroom, and done everything possible to find out where this smell is coming from. I mean tearing apart everything and anything. We've looked high and low for anything that possibly would emit that smell.

The bathroom needs to be updated. The last time it was done was in 1990. When it was rehabbed at that time there was evidence that the sub-flooring had been wet and caused some damage. It had to be replaced. Can it be that this is where the smell is wafting from now? I'm betting it is... The bathroom needs to be gutted and redone. Larry is resisting like crazy.

Why he insists on ripping apart the fan in the ceiling at 1:00am during a torrential rain storm is beyond my comprehension, but he did it last night. I woke up with the sounds of hammers and other similar noises (as well as Oh@#$%, f%$# that, Mother%$#^ thing). Apparently something wasn't going his way at 1:00am when normal people are sleeping...LIKE ME!

For some ungodly reason he decided that the smell was coming from the attic and every time we entered the bathroom the smell would descend down the fan and into the bathroom. It should be noted that the fan pipe was dripping water from the rain coming down so hard there are flood warnings in our area (we live in an area where if it flooded we should all be building arks...we're high above sea level-so this is not your average rain fall). Would a normal, sane person fool around with a pipe that goes to the roof during a wicked rain storm? I think not, but then they're not my husband.

We've been at 100% humidity levels around here for the last three days and anything that was remotely damp is wet again and probably molding, hence the wet mildew smell. I say we should dry everything the best we can, get some light in the bathroom, maybe fans and try to dry it out until we can get the thing gutted and find out where the wet something is. Larry wants to rip apart, the day before company comes (in the only bathroom in the house mind you). And of course a couple of days before our company comes. I'm all for camouflage with candles and Lysol until we can figure out what's what. Am I wrong? Apparently Larry thinks so.

LIfe has to be lived while we're here

I'm getting to that age where reading the daily newspaper is becoming a challenge... I know I need to look at the obits because I usually recognize a bunch of names, but honestly, sometimes I wish the obits were an option in the paper, like the TV guides that have become some special option in all the papers around here. I'd gladly give up the obits to have the TV guide back...

At present I have several friends on the pathway to the end. I don't like to think about it, but it's inevitable for all of us, but for these friends they're on a fast moving walkway going like the wind to get to the end.

With that in mind, I've given some thought to the things I want to accomplish in the near future. The way I figure it, I'm on the moving walkway as well, but it hasn't been turned on yet, so I have some time to do some things.

I'm just about at the point where I'm going to say "to Hell with everything" and do what I damned well please, no regrets...well, not any I'm ready to admit to anyway. I have things that I want to do in the next few months and I've decided not to put them off. I guess it's sort of my own personal "Bucket List".

Here's the rub though... I have a significant other that doesn't see things quite the same way. I understand where he's coming from, we do have to remember we might need some of this money I'm about to blow in the future, but what if there is no future? What a quandary...

Maybe I'll rethink a bit and do some of the things and not all of them...then again maybe not....

LIfe has to be lived while we