second chapter

I said before this may be too much information but it is what it is.

Now we are on the second course of the toxic meds that are supposed to keep the Myeloma at bay.

It's tough to see the rough times and the person who was once able to get up and go, just trying to keep out of pain by moving slowly and deliberately to avoid any movement that will cause some kind of pain.  At times there is no pain, but the brain is so accustomed to feeling the pain it's like a phantom pain is there. 


That was the first week of the second course of this toxic medicine.  We are now at the end of the second course.  The hot flashes ( really the opening of flood gates from all the pores in his body at the same time- soaking all the clothing he has on and using small towels to stop the flow of water rivulets that pour from the top of his head...that's no exaggerating....Enough pours off that he needs to get hydrated by IV) seem to have slowed but there are still lingering side effects that may cause a change in the medication.  We are now facing going to the oncologists a couple times a week to get sort of an infusion of a different drug (I'm sure with all types of other side effects we can look forward to).

I know chemotherapy is the pits, and for a lot of folks it's a lifesaver.  The problem as I see it is this; the theory is the toxic chemicals will kill or chase away the cancer for a period of time, but it's all dependent on so many factors.  Many of those factors are based on how much of the side effects each person can endure.   Sometimes the chemicals will kill off the Cancer cells for good, and that's what everyone hopes.  But the reality is, it's a crap shoot... If luck is on your side you have a good chance. 

When he was first diagnosed I had so many people ask me if we were going to go to the Cancer Research Center, Dana Farber, the cancer center in Texas for another opinion.   Well, here's what I told everyone...I did lots of research on my own, spoke to a Myeloma specialist, went on the website for Myeloma, checked out the pharmaceutical companies blurbs, you name it, between my daughter and I we did out homework. 

This type of cancer has a regular protocol.  Yes, there are lots of new studies and ideas about this cancer, but the bottom line is not everyone will be able to take new drugs, or they may make them sicker.  It depends on so many variables... If you are diagnosed with any cancer and you're pretty young, you may have a better chance but then again...if you're older and have lived through some of the other health issues as you've gone through life, you may have some antibodies that will help to kill off some of these cancer cells...then again...maybe not. 

You usually don't get anything definitive from the Oncologist's either.  They know better than to give false hope, no hope, possible hope, whatever.  They end up giving you the same information you've gleaned yourself from your research... That's the God's honest truth.

There's always hope.  People will say that all the time, and they are absolutely correct, there is hope.  You can ask everyone to pray or send positive energy, Reiki through cyber space all sorts of things, and some of it may help, so go for it.

We are hanging in and doing things as they come.  I have a neighbor mowing my lawn right now.  There's another neighbor doing my raking in the front yard.  I can only do so much and yard work kills my back so the neighborhood has taken it upon their hands to help out where they can.   I have another neighbor making a platform for Larry's recliner chair to raise the height to make it easier for him to get out of the chair.  He's moved from a wheelchair to a walker, so that's progress. 

Starting on Monday we will be going to out patient Physical Therapy. That will at least get us out of the house and we'll be able to see other walls rather than the ones in this house. 

It's not easy, and for me it's a struggle, but it is what it is...

I am blessed to have people helping me with everything.  I couldn't do all this on my own it's just too much...

Karma is great....for so many years I've tried to help out other people, now I'm getting my rewards.