Always try new restaurants....at least twice...maybe

I'm all about trying out new and different restaurants or stores at least twice.  The first time isn't always the impression that should linger in your data banks....Give it another try, at a different time, or day...

That being said, today we had some errands to do,  We thought since we were out anyway we could go to lunch at the new Mediterranean Restaurant that's opened in Ballston Spa.  Now here's where it gets tricky. Ballston Spa is a village.  A village in Northern New York (not "upstate" like Westchester County in the Catskill Mountains....no...we are in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains...you know Adirondack Chairs, bears, snow, cold weather, sort of rednecks....That Northern New York...closer to Montreal than New York City...Got it?).  We go for Pizza, wings, dough boys, and nachos (not because we're ethnically diverse...we just like grease).

Why these folks that run the new restaurant think it will make it here is beyond me.   I love Mediterranean foods but most of my friends look at it as though it's too foreign (like they USED to with Nachos by the way).  We're always looking for things that are new and different so we went there.

We should have known been on the ball as soon as we walked in...There was not a soul in the place. No one in the kitchen, no one in the bathrooms, no one at the counters...Nada...not one living soul ( unless you count the bee and the fly that was buzzing around).   I went through the kitchen to an open outside door...I have to tell you I was a bit apprehensive to go meandering through the door, but I'm brave I poked my head outside and saw three folks sitting at a plastic table drinking something...coffee? tea? Scotch? who knew?  I said, "Hello...? Is anyone working?  Are you open?" They all jumped up in startled amazement by my intrusion into their sun worshiping.  

Full of apologies they showed us to tables and gave us the menu.  The food listing was interesting, if not sparse.  Clearly the owners were trying to convert the masses (?) who came in to a Mediterranean diet with no possible chance of any other food choices....But what the heck, it all looked pretty good to me...Not so to the unadventurous one of this pairing....Larry looked lost...I interpreted the menu for him and he made a good choice of chicken kebabs (how wrong can you go with that?).  I decided on Calamari Salad.  I love calamari and if anyone can cook it right it's the folks who live  on the Mediterranean Sea.

The waiter was probably an out of work actor left over from the Saturday Night Fever movie...You know the type....tall slender, coiffed hair  with enough hair gel to use his head as a weapon of mass destruction. He had on Khaki's, a long sleeved deep purple shirt, black dress shoes...Honest, I kept thinking he was going to start singing Bee Gee's songs.  He took our order, sort of, turned to go to the kitchen, returned to our table to ask us again what we wanted. (OK it's a new place, he's probably never been a waiter before we'll give him the benefit of the doubt...this time).  He returns again with my water, Larry's soda...(wrong kind by the way).

It's hotter than Hell in this place so the owner (?), certainly not John Travolta's stunt double, opens up the door...There are flies...there are bees...there are little tiny flies...not pretty.  Another couple comes in and I'm hard pressed to continue to sit in my chair...I want to get up and tell them, "Run, run...go away while you have the chance".  But no, I sit there and mind my own business.  Another woman comes in to pick up an order for her office.    The stunt double gives her the bill.  It's over $50.00.  She looks at the bill. I'm watching her as I can see the machinations of her brain working overtime....She isn't expecting the bill to be this high. I didn't expect the bill to be that high. I was watching as they were gathering all the take-out stuff.  Poor woman, she gets out her phone to call the office and says (remember, I'm within ear shot) "What the F*** did you guys order?  It's over $50..." Her face is now bright red.  She hands stunt double her plastic.  Stunt double rings up the amount in the cash register, hands the customer the receipt to sign.  She looks at the receipt and says, "The bill was $52.00, this receipt says $520.00.  That's not right" (thank God she looked at it before she signed). Now stunt double is freaking out....I can see the rivulets of  sweat pouring down his face. Enter "THE OWNER", the one who so wisely opened the door to let all flying things into the restaurant...

Larry who is practically stone deaf can't hear any of the discussion but he knows things are escalating because he sees me squirming in my seat... He knows me well enough to understand I'm internally laughing so hard my guts are pushing my bladder...

I'm sitting very close to all this action. I'm trying not to laugh.  I'm afraid to get up to go to the bathroom that I so desperately need. The customer is standing by the register, stunt double and "The Owner" and all huddled together.  The owner grabs the check, shakes his head, looks at the stunt double and says, "What? you stupid? You charged for dinner menu, it's lunch you dope".  Stunt double says, "So confusing, the menu...The food is the same, lunch, dinner...just the prices are different. So confusing".  I'm nearly making a puddle now. I can't hold it much longer...I literally jump from my seat, making one step from my table into the ladies room.  In there I can still hear the discussion of stunt double and THE OWNER, and I know all the other patrons are well aware of the conversation as well.

The owner straightens out the customer's bill....giving her some free dessert items (good move on his part) and she leaves...Now our food is on it's way...
The food is really good, no kidding but the entertainment is superb.  It's OK that this place is supposed to be a restaurant only....if you keep your eyes closed it's sort of like a Seinfeld episode with the Soup Nazi.

By the way, our bill was also wrong...but all is good... It was corrected.  Are we going to give it another try? I will, because it was one of the best laughing lunches I've had in years. Larry? I don't think he's as brave as I am...