Saturday, March 6, 2010


This is a plea to ask folks if it's just me, or am I one of thousands?

Right now I'm fit to be tied. My stomach is in knots and I took a "happy" pill to calm my nerves....I think I'm an intelligent woman but I just don't understand men. I've lived with one most of my life, between my Dad and now my husband of 43 years.....I should know all about the species, but I don't.

What I'm alluding to is the fact that the one I'm married to won't stand up and say something if anyone if he's unhappy about something. Oh...he'll say something to me about it, but confrontation between him and the person he should be talking to doesn't happen.....Instead he acts as though everything is fine and life is great...With a little laugh and a smile.

What's that all about? Now, if I was analyzing this, I would have to say this is a man who has kept his true feelings inside all his life. I would point out that life for him is in two houses. One house has the man who everyone sees, good natured, happy, friendly, an all round good guy. He doesn 't make any waves as he goes about his daily business. Never would anyone think he was anything but what his facade shows.

Now, in the other house lives a man who is angry. He's angry at everything and anything. He sits in his chair yelling at the TV. He slams papers down in frustration. He looks at the neighbors houses and says they're all a bunch of idiots and wishes they would die. Just their presence in the neighborhood makes him angry. He loves movies but won't go to them because he hates all the people that attend the movie. He finds something wrong in the house, usually something that has been remodeled or changed in some way, and he seethes on the problem until he can't speak about it at all. He badgers me to "call those people and get them here to fix this". When I do, and they come, he won't come out of his room to speak to them. When I ask if he wants to talk to them he says, "Why, I can't say anything that you haven't already said." He then calls me and tells me to ask questions of the guys repairing the stuff. I tell him he should ask the questions himself and he gives me looks that would melt glaciers.

When the repair guys leave, he's all over the repairs, usually not happy about the repairs. Then the yelling starts about, "Today's shoddy workmanship, the young workers who don't know jack shit (by the way, what's "jackshit?")" and the fact that he feels he's been personally screwed.

When I read Dennis the Menace in the newspapers I think Mr. Wilson and my husband have much in common. I've taken on the role of the ever understanding Mrs. Wilson who tolerates the miserable curmudgeon Mr. Wilson with a smile and a "yes, Dear".

If I understand this behavior correctly, I think it's just a way to express emotions. It's not to be taken with great seriousness. I think my job is to nod my head up and down and say, "Yes, Dear", then go on my way smiling.

I've learned over the years not to take on the attitude and moods of others, so I don't. The problem with that is, I get told I'm unfeeling and cold. So be it.

I come from a long line of folks who call a spade a spade. We don't gloss over things and try to make people "like us" by saying what they want to hear. I tell it as I see it, for better or worse.

Most of the time what I see from this man is a person who will not confront anyone mildly. His idea of confrontation must take on the form of fighting, arguing, anger and frustration. He loses his temper because he stuffs his feelings in all the time, then explodes. No one but me sees that side. Although, lately others have seen cracks in the veneer, so they know he's not all sugar and smiles.

We'll see what's to happen in the next year or so....things are not pretty right now and I'm getting very tired.......

Oh well...just another bother.....