I'm getting to that age where reading the daily newspaper is becoming a challenge... I know I need to look at the obits because I usually recognize a bunch of names, but honestly, sometimes I wish the obits were an option in the paper, like the TV guides that have become some special option in all the papers around here. I'd gladly give up the obits to have the TV guide back...
At present I have several friends on the pathway to the end. I don't like to think about it, but it's inevitable for all of us, but for these friends they're on a fast moving walkway going like the wind to get to the end.
With that in mind, I've given some thought to the things I want to accomplish in the near future. The way I figure it, I'm on the moving walkway as well, but it hasn't been turned on yet, so I have some time to do some things.
I'm just about at the point where I'm going to say "to Hell with everything" and do what I damned well please, no regrets...well, not any I'm ready to admit to anyway. I have things that I want to do in the next few months and I've decided not to put them off. I guess it's sort of my own personal "Bucket List".
Here's the rub though... I have a significant other that doesn't see things quite the same way. I understand where he's coming from, we do have to remember we might need some of this money I'm about to blow in the future, but what if there is no future? What a quandary...
Maybe I'll rethink a bit and do some of the things and not all of them...then again maybe not....
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Home DIY
If you ask me to check your oil, change your antifreeze, bleed your brakes, rotate your tires, change plugs and points (if you can still get to them), or any other car related stuff, I'm there.
Ask me to chain saw some limbs from trees, water cut tile, spread cement, build a stone retaining wall, or grow from seeds some weird plants, I'm there. But, ask me to do something in my house that takes a measuring device, level, drill, screw drivers or hammers and you may as well ask me to swim the English Channel. I'm not good at the handi-person (got to be politically correct these days-I get noise about that) house accessorizing things.
All I wanted to do was add a towel bar in my bathroom. With all the remodeling we've been doing we decided to remove our old glass shower doors and replace it with a curtain and one of those cool shower curtain rods that give you more room in the shower. They're kind of curved to pull the curtain out and around. No problem right?
Got the tools to do the job, sat down to read the directions, that made no sense at all, but knowing how inept I am at these house DYI's I figured I better take the time to read the directions. That was my first mistake.
Directions are written in pseudo English these days. Thank God someone somewhere had the foresight to add pictures... Larry got in on this one as well, so I thought we'd be good.
We followed the directions to a "T". The curtain rod rotated and looked like an elongated "U". That didn't seem right, so we started anew. This time we read the directions out loud and s-l-o-w-l-y. I put the last piece in and the rod was still looking like a "U".
We both started to laugh because we questioned the directions a few times but figured we were wrong and they were right. We were wrong....about them being right.
We finally did what was logical and the thing went up fine. We learned that we knew many words that should not be used in polite company however. Well, at least we learned something.
OK, now, because we no longer have the shower doors, we lost our towel racks and the ability to throw wet towels and other things over the top of the doors. I was getting pretty sick of the towels on the floor and over the bathtub, plus the bathroom smelled damp. It was time to do something about this problem.
The first thing I did was to buy a curtain hook, you know the kind of thing that holds curtains back to the side. I saw someone use one of those in the bathroom to hold a hand towel by the sink. This was a project I was sure I could do and I did it with little difficulty. Because I was so successful at that minor job, I thought, I'll do a towel rod. No problem.
It took me some time to find the one I wanted, but I finally found one. It's not elaborate but it had to be a certain size to fit where I needed it. At the same time I bought a couple of other hook type devices to match, figuring I could use all the hooks I could get and I was so accomplished at these hook installations, how hard could it be? Ha!!
According to the directions the job should have taken 8 minutes. Knowing what I know about myself I always multiply the figure by 20. So 20 times 8 minutes, the job should take me about 160 minutes. On top of that figure I add another 60 minutes or so to give me the time to find all the tools I'll need. Don't laugh, it's true. Every tool is in the house and someone thinks he knows where they are, but guess what? we have a gremlin that lives with us who loves to put things away in places they don't belong. The result is, we have to search. We go to the place the tool is supposed to be and start doing searches by 1 foot radius'. I've thought about using a system to square off the cellar like they do on archaeological sites to find things.
Sure enough, it took me 90 minutes to find the tools to do this 8 minute project. Again, I haven't learned lessons correctly, I sat down to read the directions. Not good.
I'm sure some Chinese people are laughing their heads off right now, knowing full well that some American is reading their convoluted directions to put up this towel rod.
I did everything according to the directions. I drilled the holes the way they asked me to. I put the little anchors into the drilled holes (the size the Chinese told me to make) and the little anchors went into the wall, through the sheet rock and down into the hinterlands of the wall...
My vocabulary is now peppered with expletives that I won't repeat here. Suffice to say I was pissed. Luckily I have an assortment of different kinds of anchor and mollie bolts so the wall was saved from my foot being slammed through it.
After some other feeble attempts at using the directions, I threw them away and put the damned thing up. It's not perfect, but then what is?
Ask me to chain saw some limbs from trees, water cut tile, spread cement, build a stone retaining wall, or grow from seeds some weird plants, I'm there. But, ask me to do something in my house that takes a measuring device, level, drill, screw drivers or hammers and you may as well ask me to swim the English Channel. I'm not good at the handi-person (got to be politically correct these days-I get noise about that) house accessorizing things.
All I wanted to do was add a towel bar in my bathroom. With all the remodeling we've been doing we decided to remove our old glass shower doors and replace it with a curtain and one of those cool shower curtain rods that give you more room in the shower. They're kind of curved to pull the curtain out and around. No problem right?
Got the tools to do the job, sat down to read the directions, that made no sense at all, but knowing how inept I am at these house DYI's I figured I better take the time to read the directions. That was my first mistake.
Directions are written in pseudo English these days. Thank God someone somewhere had the foresight to add pictures... Larry got in on this one as well, so I thought we'd be good.
We followed the directions to a "T". The curtain rod rotated and looked like an elongated "U". That didn't seem right, so we started anew. This time we read the directions out loud and s-l-o-w-l-y. I put the last piece in and the rod was still looking like a "U".
We both started to laugh because we questioned the directions a few times but figured we were wrong and they were right. We were wrong....about them being right.
We finally did what was logical and the thing went up fine. We learned that we knew many words that should not be used in polite company however. Well, at least we learned something.
OK, now, because we no longer have the shower doors, we lost our towel racks and the ability to throw wet towels and other things over the top of the doors. I was getting pretty sick of the towels on the floor and over the bathtub, plus the bathroom smelled damp. It was time to do something about this problem.
The first thing I did was to buy a curtain hook, you know the kind of thing that holds curtains back to the side. I saw someone use one of those in the bathroom to hold a hand towel by the sink. This was a project I was sure I could do and I did it with little difficulty. Because I was so successful at that minor job, I thought, I'll do a towel rod. No problem.
It took me some time to find the one I wanted, but I finally found one. It's not elaborate but it had to be a certain size to fit where I needed it. At the same time I bought a couple of other hook type devices to match, figuring I could use all the hooks I could get and I was so accomplished at these hook installations, how hard could it be? Ha!!
According to the directions the job should have taken 8 minutes. Knowing what I know about myself I always multiply the figure by 20. So 20 times 8 minutes, the job should take me about 160 minutes. On top of that figure I add another 60 minutes or so to give me the time to find all the tools I'll need. Don't laugh, it's true. Every tool is in the house and someone thinks he knows where they are, but guess what? we have a gremlin that lives with us who loves to put things away in places they don't belong. The result is, we have to search. We go to the place the tool is supposed to be and start doing searches by 1 foot radius'. I've thought about using a system to square off the cellar like they do on archaeological sites to find things.
Sure enough, it took me 90 minutes to find the tools to do this 8 minute project. Again, I haven't learned lessons correctly, I sat down to read the directions. Not good.
I'm sure some Chinese people are laughing their heads off right now, knowing full well that some American is reading their convoluted directions to put up this towel rod.
I did everything according to the directions. I drilled the holes the way they asked me to. I put the little anchors into the drilled holes (the size the Chinese told me to make) and the little anchors went into the wall, through the sheet rock and down into the hinterlands of the wall...
My vocabulary is now peppered with expletives that I won't repeat here. Suffice to say I was pissed. Luckily I have an assortment of different kinds of anchor and mollie bolts so the wall was saved from my foot being slammed through it.
After some other feeble attempts at using the directions, I threw them away and put the damned thing up. It's not perfect, but then what is?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Social networks
I belong to one of the many social networks. I added myself to this network because many of my friends and family were already on one and I thought it would be cool to be in the "in crowd' for a change. You can see from those words how old I am. I don't think the "in crowd" is used any longer, but I still use it on occasion.
What I didn't realize about social networks is how many people lead boring lives. I thought everyone's life was full of fun and activity. Now, I find out they're just as boring as I am at times. For that matter, I think my life is more adventurous than many of the folks on the social network.
OK, it's nice to see some of the pictures of people and the things they're doing, but it's not much better than seeing pictures of someone else's vacation. And, who are all those people in the photos? Do I know them? Of course not. They're people that other folks on the social network know, not me. So I just click through some and go on my merry way.
However, once in a while, in the private lives of others, I see something that makes me smile . I think they forget that everyone is reading their viewpoints and little mini life tales. I've been guilty of it myself. I forget at times that I'm writing things to the world and not just to the friend I thought I was writing to.
My young friends and family definitely forget that everyone is reading their tales. I'm sure they wouldn't volunteer some of the things they talk about with their elders and certainly not their parents. Even when they use text-talk, I get it....and I bet their parents do too. It's funny to read some of the musings of the kids. Kids never change. All their pet peeves have been the pet peeves through the ages.
I venture to guess in ??BCE there was a kid complaining that he/she didn't have the freedom they wanted and their parents didn't understand them...That, of course, is assuming they had time to think about anything other than where to get food, sleep and shelter.
I used to think old folks were nuts complaining about the state of the youth of today, but now I understand. I'm one of those old geezers and I can see why the aged look at the youth and shake their heads. In my day (gees, I really am old) our concerns were the same but we didn't have the opportunities these kids have to get into more trouble. Most of us didn't have the access to vehicles that these young people have today, so we didn't have the vehicle accidents as these kids have. If you were a girl, our big worry was "SEX". You knew if you had "SEX" your life as you knew it would be gone.
What I didn't realize about social networks is how many people lead boring lives. I thought everyone's life was full of fun and activity. Now, I find out they're just as boring as I am at times. For that matter, I think my life is more adventurous than many of the folks on the social network.
OK, it's nice to see some of the pictures of people and the things they're doing, but it's not much better than seeing pictures of someone else's vacation. And, who are all those people in the photos? Do I know them? Of course not. They're people that other folks on the social network know, not me. So I just click through some and go on my merry way.
However, once in a while, in the private lives of others, I see something that makes me smile . I think they forget that everyone is reading their viewpoints and little mini life tales. I've been guilty of it myself. I forget at times that I'm writing things to the world and not just to the friend I thought I was writing to.
My young friends and family definitely forget that everyone is reading their tales. I'm sure they wouldn't volunteer some of the things they talk about with their elders and certainly not their parents. Even when they use text-talk, I get it....and I bet their parents do too. It's funny to read some of the musings of the kids. Kids never change. All their pet peeves have been the pet peeves through the ages.
I venture to guess in ??BCE there was a kid complaining that he/she didn't have the freedom they wanted and their parents didn't understand them...That, of course, is assuming they had time to think about anything other than where to get food, sleep and shelter.
I used to think old folks were nuts complaining about the state of the youth of today, but now I understand. I'm one of those old geezers and I can see why the aged look at the youth and shake their heads. In my day (gees, I really am old) our concerns were the same but we didn't have the opportunities these kids have to get into more trouble. Most of us didn't have the access to vehicles that these young people have today, so we didn't have the vehicle accidents as these kids have. If you were a girl, our big worry was "SEX". You knew if you had "SEX" your life as you knew it would be gone.
- Your reputation would be "ruined". "Ruined!!" I say, irreparable damage for LIFE.
- You'd, for sure, get "pg'd" (that's the "text" term in those days for (whispered) pregnant..ooooo.....
- When you got preggers, no one would talk to you. You think the Amish can shun...let me tell you, 60's high school kids could shun the Amish to shame. The girls especially...you were a nonentity if someone knew you were pregnant. Usually the pregnant girls had to go "away". Funny thing though, the boy that made the girl pregnant went on with his life as a hero.
- If "it" happened many of the girls I knew dropped out of school, never to return and I never saw them again. Of course the boys kept on living their lives....
- If the girl kept the baby, her life was over, period. She lived with her relatives pretty much in isolation. The parents of her old friends wouldn't let them see her. For some reason the girl was now tainted for life as a result of something that took two to do.
Yes, our lives were different than the kids I see today. I'm not in support of unrestricted sex, or unwed parenting, mainly because it takes more than on to make the baby and it should be more than one that raises the baby. I do like the way having a baby in high school is looked at differently. Let me qualify that statement. You hope that kids don't get pregnant in high school today, but they do, at least today the girl is not ostracized and shunned like in my day. There are programs and support available for the girl and she doesn't have to feel alone and "dirty" like the girls did when I was in high school.
Kids grow up too fast these days and that I don't like. It's fun to be a kid and do stupid things that you look back on and laugh. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, what's the big deal? Why sweat the small stuff, there's plenty of time in your life to worry about things which you have no control over. Have a good time.
I wish I could go back and tell myself that. I had a great childhood, but I would have had a better one if I hadn't been so worried about the way someone else thought. What right did I have to question what was in someone else's head? Those were the thoughts of others, not mine. What a wasted of valuable time.....I could have been doing something stupid and having fun with the time I wasted...Oh well, I'll make up for it now. I can too, because now I'm old and if I do something stupid younger people just look and think, "well, what do you expect, she' s just an old geezer"....You know what, I'm not any different than when I was a kid....I'm still thinking about other peoples thoughts...It's none of MY damned business...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Decadent Salaries
Can someone please tell me how you can justify giving a CEO of a company multiple millions of dollars annually while laying off the workers of said company? I don't get it.
This was a story in the newspaper today regarding a not for profit hospital and the fact they were laying off nurses, but the CEO still received his multimillion dollar salary for that year. I read the article twice because I couldn't get over the fact that author of the article wrote it with such nonchalance.
If the CEO left the employ of that hospital I think it would run very well, but if all the nurses left the hospital would have to close their tents (and to be honest, some of the rooms in that hospital are not much better than tents....in fact some of the newer tents I've seen rival some good hotel rooms I've seen lately, so maybe the hospital should look into the cost cutting venture of buying the newer tents.....lol).
The article got me thinking, (a dangerous thing these days...I'm getting older and far more cynical than ever) what if all the upper management of these companies were to make a pledge together that they would not skim off the top of these companies? I know, it wouldn't happen until Hell froze over, but let's just speculate. I wonder how the companies would fair? Some people will think, if the execs aren't given their perks and wages they've come to expect they will work less. That's a joke, I don't think they work all that much now. I understand the need for supervision, but not for 7 layers of supervisors. All of them make far more than the ones they're supervising. Ok I'll accept that they should get more because they're shouldering more responsibility, but is that really true? Take for example a chemist in a pharmaceutical company.
That chemist has to be precise in his/her measurements for safety of all concerned with that drug. The responsibility for him is huge. If he puts the wrong chemicals together a life could be lost or changed drastically forever. Doesn't it seem that he should be paid more than someone who doesn't have that responsibility on them like the upper management.
I know there has to be management, I get it. But I don't think it needs to be paid into the stratosphere.
I have a friend who makes tons of money. His bonus's are more than twice my annual income. He has a job that makes money for a company and he's compensated by percentage of the money he brings into the company. He's been lucky, (and honestly it is luck for some to be in the positions of great wealth, not much else) and he' s made a nice niche for himself. I don't begrudge him at all, but I wonder if it's justified he makes all this money while some of the administrative assistants he works with are losing their jobs because the companies profit margins weren't as great as they had been in the past?
There is a great disparity of wealth in this country and I think it's going to be the downfall of us all. Where I live is pretty insulated from the poor and starving, but I have eyes and ears, I can see things happening around me and I find it disturbing, to say the least. Life isn't fair, ok, I get it, but for some it's more unfair than for others. I know some folks could pull themselves up by the boot straps and change their lot in life, but sometimes when you're constantly being beaten down, it's kind of hard to find those boot straps...I think they need some help, for a time....
This was a story in the newspaper today regarding a not for profit hospital and the fact they were laying off nurses, but the CEO still received his multimillion dollar salary for that year. I read the article twice because I couldn't get over the fact that author of the article wrote it with such nonchalance.
If the CEO left the employ of that hospital I think it would run very well, but if all the nurses left the hospital would have to close their tents (and to be honest, some of the rooms in that hospital are not much better than tents....in fact some of the newer tents I've seen rival some good hotel rooms I've seen lately, so maybe the hospital should look into the cost cutting venture of buying the newer tents.....lol).
The article got me thinking, (a dangerous thing these days...I'm getting older and far more cynical than ever) what if all the upper management of these companies were to make a pledge together that they would not skim off the top of these companies? I know, it wouldn't happen until Hell froze over, but let's just speculate. I wonder how the companies would fair? Some people will think, if the execs aren't given their perks and wages they've come to expect they will work less. That's a joke, I don't think they work all that much now. I understand the need for supervision, but not for 7 layers of supervisors. All of them make far more than the ones they're supervising. Ok I'll accept that they should get more because they're shouldering more responsibility, but is that really true? Take for example a chemist in a pharmaceutical company.
That chemist has to be precise in his/her measurements for safety of all concerned with that drug. The responsibility for him is huge. If he puts the wrong chemicals together a life could be lost or changed drastically forever. Doesn't it seem that he should be paid more than someone who doesn't have that responsibility on them like the upper management.
I know there has to be management, I get it. But I don't think it needs to be paid into the stratosphere.
I have a friend who makes tons of money. His bonus's are more than twice my annual income. He has a job that makes money for a company and he's compensated by percentage of the money he brings into the company. He's been lucky, (and honestly it is luck for some to be in the positions of great wealth, not much else) and he' s made a nice niche for himself. I don't begrudge him at all, but I wonder if it's justified he makes all this money while some of the administrative assistants he works with are losing their jobs because the companies profit margins weren't as great as they had been in the past?
There is a great disparity of wealth in this country and I think it's going to be the downfall of us all. Where I live is pretty insulated from the poor and starving, but I have eyes and ears, I can see things happening around me and I find it disturbing, to say the least. Life isn't fair, ok, I get it, but for some it's more unfair than for others. I know some folks could pull themselves up by the boot straps and change their lot in life, but sometimes when you're constantly being beaten down, it's kind of hard to find those boot straps...I think they need some help, for a time....
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Revenge of the forest
Over 41 years ago we bought this house. Actually it was a lot, which we planned to build on. I was pregnant with my first child and this was a big deal. We would have a new baby, new house and we had a new car.
The house was to be built in Suburbia. I didn't want to raise my baby in the city. It didn't matter to me that Larry would have to drive 45 minutes every day to work. I wanted to live in the country where the air was clean and the baby, when it arrived, would get to see nature right outside our window.
It was a great idea and one that has continued to be a great idea. We were smart, not on purpose mind you, we lucked out. We bought in an area that is still holding it's own in this financial market. The baby grew up. We had another baby. We were living the American dream. We were happy.
What we didn't give a thought to was what was happening to the other living things who lived here before we, and all our neighbors, moved in. This place was teeming with all kinds of wild life. It was nothing to see the deer in the back yard along with the foxes and myriad other little living things.
Most of us didn't give much thought to what we were doing to their "homes" as we built our homes. If they didn't get out of the way...too bad...they were gone. Honest, I don't think any of us around here thought about the other living things except maybe to swear at them when something got into the garbage cans, or ate out of our carefully landscaped yards. Rabbits got a short shift if they were caught in our new gardens. It was us or them, and we were bigger.
Life went on, we took over. The little animals fled from the area to be seen on occasion, but usually splatted on the road. No one cared. We just went on our merry way.
We thought we were the strong ones, we would prevail, and for the most part we did. Then slowly, ever so slowly, we started seeing things happen in our little area we cultivated to be our homes. The trees got bigger, and the animals found new homes. Our homes were being invaded by things from outside. Some of us got cats...that helped for a time, but the little living things got smarter.
Here we are 43 years later and I find myself embroiled in a war. "War", you say. I say, "Yes, all out war". My enemies are cute little brown chipmunks. You know, "Chip and Dale", except they aren't Chip and Dale. They're more like, "The rodents that ate the world" or at least they're trying to eat the world.
The first thing they tried to eat was a tarp in our shed. Apparently "tarp" is not one of their dietary needs, so the little thing died in the shed. We knew that in the Spring when opening the shed for the first time we were almost decked by the smell of death pouring out of the shed. It was not pleasant. Larry thought he could camouflage the smell with mothballs....not. Then he tried cedar shavings....not. Then he called in the big guns, me.
I opened the shed doors and told him something was definitely dead within the confines of the shed. I told him it smelled like all the dead mice which were in my old office. No amount of camouflage smell would take care of this stench. We had to remove everything (no small task) from the shed and find the offending "thing".
I was elected to go up the ladder and clear out the loft. The minute I went up one step I thought, "Man, this has got to be a big "thing" the smell was really putrid. Larry, the brave one, was standing far away from the shed yelling advice from his lofty position. Why in God's name I was the one elected for this was beyond me, but I was on the ladder, like a fool, pulling and pushing things out of the way to grab what I could, and get it out into the light of day. Larry's job was to search all the stuff as it came out.
He stood over all the scraps of material with a big stick. Slowly he would pick up a piece and use his foot to open up the material checking for vermin. Each time the material fell back down he'd jump back with a squeal... For a minute there, I thought he morphed into a little girl, listening to the noises he was making.
I finally got the loft cleared out, finding nothing when I heard an unearthly howl. Larry had found the "thing" tangled in the middle of a tarp. We saw where the little thing (we weren't sure what kind of "thing" it was at this point) had eaten part of the tarp and obviously it hadn't agreed with him/her.
He pushed the critter out of it's unholy coffin and determined it was a chipmunk. Good, now we knew what was causing the smell, life was good again, or so we thought.
A couple of weeks later Larry noticed some leaves under his car. We have a Mini Cooper. We've had it for years. He loves his Mini. He couldn't figure out where the leaves came from. He opened the hood of the car to investigate. There were more leaves. As he searched in the little engine he kept finding more leaves and straw like stuff. He cleared it out and closed the hood.
The next day he looked outside and saw a chipmunk coming out from under his car. He didn't think much of it at the time because we seemed to have an inordinate number of chipmunks all over the yard, up in the gutters, running from the roof, down the gutters, into the car port. We figured they were having a great time enjoying life like cute little Chip and Dale.
Hmm...what we didn't realize that these chipmunks were probably the progeny of the ones we displaced 43 years ago and they were back to avenge their ancestors. Sure, they were cute and little. They would run over my feet when I stood at my gardeners bench in the carport. How much could little chipmunks do for heavens sake? Hah!
Larry decided to change the air cleaner in the Mini because the air conditioner seemed to be struggling. When he opened the area of the cleaner, it was packed tight with straw, grass and leaves. There seemed to be a little indentation, like a Papasan chair in the middle of the leaves. Obviously someones house...
It took half of a garbage can to clear out the engine area and air cleaner area of leaves and other debris. Larry decided he better put some sort of covering over the hole something was getting into. He had some nylon screening that seemed to be the ticket. He measured and taped the mesh to the hole. Ahh...for sure it would be good now.
The next day he looked under the hood. Lo, and behold, the mesh was chewed completely through, and the little house of leaves and debris was back intact. This was serious. Twice Larry had to clear out some sort of nest. He was getting pissed. This wasn't an easy task, to remove this stuff, it was packed into the smallest areas (the poor little thing probably didn't want to get a draft in his house).
I decided to get involved. I made a mixture of hot peppers, hot sauce vinegar and salt and poured it around the area where Larry had seen the chipmunks walk.
The next day the chipmunks chewed through the asphalt near the garage. They didn't liek my concoction I guess. They had tunnels all over. We found chipmunk holes all around the garage and carport.
Inside the Mini the nest was back, only worse. Now there were gnaw marks on the area where they entered. They were clearly pissed at us. This was getting serious. We needed to bring in heavy artillery.
We did our research. We checked with Environmental folks who suggested some kinds of traps, you know, the "humane" way to rid yourself of Mother Nature's little friends (they're sure not MY friends by this time).
We spent time trying all the humane things. The chipmunks watched us and laughed. Finally, when the chipmunks started to throw things at us (ok, ok I'm exaggerating.. but I swear if they could have they'd have flung something at us when we went outside) we had enough.
I went to the hardware store and bought the dreaded, "Rodent Trap", no odor, no blood, it said. I bought some organic peanut butter, figuring if this was to be their last meal I'd give them something nutritious. I set the trap, the way the instructions said to do it and placed it against the wall. All the time thinking, "I don't' want to do this but you've left me no choice".
Two days went by and there was nothing trapped. I was kind of glad about that. I didn't care that I spent $10 on this plastic trap that didn't work. It was almost like giving them a fighting chance.
The next day, I slowly walked out to the carport. I peeked around the potting bench, hoping the trap was still set...The trap was closed on top of the head of a chipmunk...dead. As I was standing there wondering what to do with the thing, feeling all kinds of remorse for doing this awful deed, a chipmunk ran over my foot. I screamed and said, "THAT'S IT, YOU ALL DIE!!"
That's how it happened. I became a murderer. I still think they're taking out revenge against us for displacing them so many years ago... So the war rages on and I'm on the front lines. If they would move away I'd leave them alone, but until they do....it's "The Jaws of Death" for them....
The house was to be built in Suburbia. I didn't want to raise my baby in the city. It didn't matter to me that Larry would have to drive 45 minutes every day to work. I wanted to live in the country where the air was clean and the baby, when it arrived, would get to see nature right outside our window.
It was a great idea and one that has continued to be a great idea. We were smart, not on purpose mind you, we lucked out. We bought in an area that is still holding it's own in this financial market. The baby grew up. We had another baby. We were living the American dream. We were happy.
What we didn't give a thought to was what was happening to the other living things who lived here before we, and all our neighbors, moved in. This place was teeming with all kinds of wild life. It was nothing to see the deer in the back yard along with the foxes and myriad other little living things.
Most of us didn't give much thought to what we were doing to their "homes" as we built our homes. If they didn't get out of the way...too bad...they were gone. Honest, I don't think any of us around here thought about the other living things except maybe to swear at them when something got into the garbage cans, or ate out of our carefully landscaped yards. Rabbits got a short shift if they were caught in our new gardens. It was us or them, and we were bigger.
Life went on, we took over. The little animals fled from the area to be seen on occasion, but usually splatted on the road. No one cared. We just went on our merry way.
We thought we were the strong ones, we would prevail, and for the most part we did. Then slowly, ever so slowly, we started seeing things happen in our little area we cultivated to be our homes. The trees got bigger, and the animals found new homes. Our homes were being invaded by things from outside. Some of us got cats...that helped for a time, but the little living things got smarter.
Here we are 43 years later and I find myself embroiled in a war. "War", you say. I say, "Yes, all out war". My enemies are cute little brown chipmunks. You know, "Chip and Dale", except they aren't Chip and Dale. They're more like, "The rodents that ate the world" or at least they're trying to eat the world.
The first thing they tried to eat was a tarp in our shed. Apparently "tarp" is not one of their dietary needs, so the little thing died in the shed. We knew that in the Spring when opening the shed for the first time we were almost decked by the smell of death pouring out of the shed. It was not pleasant. Larry thought he could camouflage the smell with mothballs....not. Then he tried cedar shavings....not. Then he called in the big guns, me.
I opened the shed doors and told him something was definitely dead within the confines of the shed. I told him it smelled like all the dead mice which were in my old office. No amount of camouflage smell would take care of this stench. We had to remove everything (no small task) from the shed and find the offending "thing".
I was elected to go up the ladder and clear out the loft. The minute I went up one step I thought, "Man, this has got to be a big "thing" the smell was really putrid. Larry, the brave one, was standing far away from the shed yelling advice from his lofty position. Why in God's name I was the one elected for this was beyond me, but I was on the ladder, like a fool, pulling and pushing things out of the way to grab what I could, and get it out into the light of day. Larry's job was to search all the stuff as it came out.
He stood over all the scraps of material with a big stick. Slowly he would pick up a piece and use his foot to open up the material checking for vermin. Each time the material fell back down he'd jump back with a squeal... For a minute there, I thought he morphed into a little girl, listening to the noises he was making.
I finally got the loft cleared out, finding nothing when I heard an unearthly howl. Larry had found the "thing" tangled in the middle of a tarp. We saw where the little thing (we weren't sure what kind of "thing" it was at this point) had eaten part of the tarp and obviously it hadn't agreed with him/her.
He pushed the critter out of it's unholy coffin and determined it was a chipmunk. Good, now we knew what was causing the smell, life was good again, or so we thought.
A couple of weeks later Larry noticed some leaves under his car. We have a Mini Cooper. We've had it for years. He loves his Mini. He couldn't figure out where the leaves came from. He opened the hood of the car to investigate. There were more leaves. As he searched in the little engine he kept finding more leaves and straw like stuff. He cleared it out and closed the hood.
The next day he looked outside and saw a chipmunk coming out from under his car. He didn't think much of it at the time because we seemed to have an inordinate number of chipmunks all over the yard, up in the gutters, running from the roof, down the gutters, into the car port. We figured they were having a great time enjoying life like cute little Chip and Dale.
Hmm...what we didn't realize that these chipmunks were probably the progeny of the ones we displaced 43 years ago and they were back to avenge their ancestors. Sure, they were cute and little. They would run over my feet when I stood at my gardeners bench in the carport. How much could little chipmunks do for heavens sake? Hah!
Larry decided to change the air cleaner in the Mini because the air conditioner seemed to be struggling. When he opened the area of the cleaner, it was packed tight with straw, grass and leaves. There seemed to be a little indentation, like a Papasan chair in the middle of the leaves. Obviously someones house...
It took half of a garbage can to clear out the engine area and air cleaner area of leaves and other debris. Larry decided he better put some sort of covering over the hole something was getting into. He had some nylon screening that seemed to be the ticket. He measured and taped the mesh to the hole. Ahh...for sure it would be good now.
The next day he looked under the hood. Lo, and behold, the mesh was chewed completely through, and the little house of leaves and debris was back intact. This was serious. Twice Larry had to clear out some sort of nest. He was getting pissed. This wasn't an easy task, to remove this stuff, it was packed into the smallest areas (the poor little thing probably didn't want to get a draft in his house).
I decided to get involved. I made a mixture of hot peppers, hot sauce vinegar and salt and poured it around the area where Larry had seen the chipmunks walk.
The next day the chipmunks chewed through the asphalt near the garage. They didn't liek my concoction I guess. They had tunnels all over. We found chipmunk holes all around the garage and carport.
Inside the Mini the nest was back, only worse. Now there were gnaw marks on the area where they entered. They were clearly pissed at us. This was getting serious. We needed to bring in heavy artillery.
We did our research. We checked with Environmental folks who suggested some kinds of traps, you know, the "humane" way to rid yourself of Mother Nature's little friends (they're sure not MY friends by this time).
We spent time trying all the humane things. The chipmunks watched us and laughed. Finally, when the chipmunks started to throw things at us (ok, ok I'm exaggerating.. but I swear if they could have they'd have flung something at us when we went outside) we had enough.
I went to the hardware store and bought the dreaded, "Rodent Trap", no odor, no blood, it said. I bought some organic peanut butter, figuring if this was to be their last meal I'd give them something nutritious. I set the trap, the way the instructions said to do it and placed it against the wall. All the time thinking, "I don't' want to do this but you've left me no choice".
Two days went by and there was nothing trapped. I was kind of glad about that. I didn't care that I spent $10 on this plastic trap that didn't work. It was almost like giving them a fighting chance.
The next day, I slowly walked out to the carport. I peeked around the potting bench, hoping the trap was still set...The trap was closed on top of the head of a chipmunk...dead. As I was standing there wondering what to do with the thing, feeling all kinds of remorse for doing this awful deed, a chipmunk ran over my foot. I screamed and said, "THAT'S IT, YOU ALL DIE!!"
That's how it happened. I became a murderer. I still think they're taking out revenge against us for displacing them so many years ago... So the war rages on and I'm on the front lines. If they would move away I'd leave them alone, but until they do....it's "The Jaws of Death" for them....
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
It's been a while since I've written anything on this thing, for several reasons. The first being I didn't have anything to say. The second, because I didn't feel like doing anything remotely linked with the word, work.
Today however I had a thought about something a friend spoke about. So here I am thinking on screen as opposed to on paper or in my mind. Sometimes I think it's good to see your words in print. For some reason it makes them seem real and worthy of the attention of yourself, and maybe others.
My friend saw a news story about some young people who were arrested for vandalism in her community. One of the folks arrested was a student from our Alma Mater. She asked if I thought she should contact the young woman, since she is a student at our college. My immediate reaction was, "Sure". But then thought better of that.
After reflection, I decided to read the news article and watch the surveillance video of the alleged event. My gut was saying one thing, but I wasn't sure if I was correct or not. My gut has a habit of putting the cabash on things, and it's usually correct.
The article spoke about the amount of damage done to businesses and vehicles parked along the sides of the down town area. There were 11 arrests. Most of the charges were misdemeanors but there were 3 pending felony charges. I don't know if the felony charges will hold, but who knows in this day and age.
The video clearly shows the group traveling through the down town area, throwing things through windows and generally wrecking things in their wake. Supposedly they were yelling unintelligible things as well, but there was no sound on the video.
This was supposed to be some sort of action for May Day. Although, I'm not sure what was being protested, nor, did it seem, did anyone else know.
What I did see was a bunch of people, dressed in black, under cover of darkness doing some stupid things to the property of others. If I had been a person in the vicinity of this "mob" I would have been frightened.
My question is this, if you want to protest something, why not do it when people are around and the sun is shining so everyone can see and hear your protest. Why do you have to be "Ninja Protesters" if that's what you're doing?
These weren't kids either. Most were college students in their 20's. I protested things when I was a college student as well, but not in the dark, wearing dark clothes so no one could see me. I also carried signs that explained my position and it was in the daytime so people could read what I was pissed about.
My friend wanted to reach out and contact this young woman who was a student of our former Alma Mater. She felt she wanted her to know there were friends in the area. I did not agree after viewing the video and reading the article. I think the girl was part and parcel of a bunch of rich kids without enough to do. I don't give them anything but disgust at their behavior.
As I stated before, if you want to protest something, do it in the daytime. This is vandalism and vandalism alone. There was nothing to protest by them, but there sure was a lot to protest from the folks who's property they damaged. Let's get things into perspective.
Today however I had a thought about something a friend spoke about. So here I am thinking on screen as opposed to on paper or in my mind. Sometimes I think it's good to see your words in print. For some reason it makes them seem real and worthy of the attention of yourself, and maybe others.
My friend saw a news story about some young people who were arrested for vandalism in her community. One of the folks arrested was a student from our Alma Mater. She asked if I thought she should contact the young woman, since she is a student at our college. My immediate reaction was, "Sure". But then thought better of that.
After reflection, I decided to read the news article and watch the surveillance video of the alleged event. My gut was saying one thing, but I wasn't sure if I was correct or not. My gut has a habit of putting the cabash on things, and it's usually correct.
The article spoke about the amount of damage done to businesses and vehicles parked along the sides of the down town area. There were 11 arrests. Most of the charges were misdemeanors but there were 3 pending felony charges. I don't know if the felony charges will hold, but who knows in this day and age.
The video clearly shows the group traveling through the down town area, throwing things through windows and generally wrecking things in their wake. Supposedly they were yelling unintelligible things as well, but there was no sound on the video.
This was supposed to be some sort of action for May Day. Although, I'm not sure what was being protested, nor, did it seem, did anyone else know.
What I did see was a bunch of people, dressed in black, under cover of darkness doing some stupid things to the property of others. If I had been a person in the vicinity of this "mob" I would have been frightened.
My question is this, if you want to protest something, why not do it when people are around and the sun is shining so everyone can see and hear your protest. Why do you have to be "Ninja Protesters" if that's what you're doing?
These weren't kids either. Most were college students in their 20's. I protested things when I was a college student as well, but not in the dark, wearing dark clothes so no one could see me. I also carried signs that explained my position and it was in the daytime so people could read what I was pissed about.
My friend wanted to reach out and contact this young woman who was a student of our former Alma Mater. She felt she wanted her to know there were friends in the area. I did not agree after viewing the video and reading the article. I think the girl was part and parcel of a bunch of rich kids without enough to do. I don't give them anything but disgust at their behavior.
As I stated before, if you want to protest something, do it in the daytime. This is vandalism and vandalism alone. There was nothing to protest by them, but there sure was a lot to protest from the folks who's property they damaged. Let's get things into perspective.
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